Getting Plated

As you saw by my pathetic blog entries about Top Chef University - Or lack thereof - I failed miserably at learning to cook. It’s sad, really, because I want to learn to cook so badly. Hell, my maiden name actually is COOK!! (Although my sister used to tell people that my middle name is “Can’t.”) I tried with Top Chef University; I really, really did. The issue with that program is that I sat in front of my computer, watched a video and attempted to implement what I learned from said video.

Unfortunately, my brain does not work that way. I wish it did, but it just doesn’t. It’s like watching a show on the Food Network, and then trying to replicate what they do in your kitchen without the video. I might be able to memorize a script, but I can’t memorize recipes and how to create those magic dishes that I see on TV.

Last month, I saw an ad for a company called Plated while I was tooling around on FaceBook. I clicked on the link, and the site boasted how it could get anyone to make restaurant-quality dishes by sending a recipe card, photos and virtually all of the ingredients that you need for the dish. I clicked on it, picked out what I wanted and even got a $15 discount. I almost ordered, but I thought better of it and moved on.

The following week, I saw photos on my friend Jaimee’s FaceBook page, boasting about making poached fish from a company called Plated. I couldn’t believe it! I asked Jaimee’s opinion about it. Jaimee told me that she absolutely LOVED it and she gave me a link to try it out.

I clicked on the link and all of a sudden, I had a $30 coupon. I decided to check out the Chicken Tostadas-- It sounded like something that my oh-so-picky husband would eat. The total for 4 plates including shipping came to $30. It included tortillas, chicken breast, lime, avocado, ground cumin, Greek yogurt, two roma tomatoes, one onion, shredded cabbage and queso fresco. Everything was already measured out for me. All I had to provide was salt, pepper,  water and oil-- All items I already had in my home.

My mom, who happens to be an AMAZING cook, thinks that $30 for the 4 plates and shipping is too expensive. If you do the math, it came to $7.50 per person to eat dinner. Now, I’ve never broken down the costs of a dinner before, mainly because I really only have 5 items that I can cook well (tacos, chicken fajitas, taco bake, pasta with marinara sauce and chicken enchiladas-- Can you tell I used to live in LA?). I also grill a mean steak and make burgers on the grill, but I don’t count that as “cooking.”

But, I digress.

 As I was saying, I think $30 for everything that is included and to actually TEACH me how to cook is pretty damned awesome. I made the Chicken Tostadas once for me and my mom, and again for me and my husband. I am so confident in my ability to make these tostadas with the avocado dressing, I don’t need to buy them from plated ever again. The dinners were delicious. 

Furthermore, my husband - my picky, picky, picky husband - LOVED the tostadas. He even ate the avocado dressing. He asked me to make them again for him sometime-- Which is HUGE in my book!

I think that the reason Plated is so great is because there are pictures that show you EXACTLY what the ingredients should look like as you go along. I didn't have to keep hitting "playback" or whatever in order to make sure that I was doing the right thing. Plus, all of the ingredients are labeled and measured out, ready for you to use. You have an instant mis en place-- Remember that lesson with Top Chef U? You open the box, pull out the conftainers, and you're done. Pretty awesome.

The other night, I was watching Shark Tank on television. Lo and behold, the two guys from Plated were on, trying to get backing to go national! I was really excited, especially when one of the sharks offered them a deal. However, I think that the other sharks were really off base when they criticized the idea of Plated.  A few of them said that they didn't think it was a good idea, because take out is easier for dinner.

Here's the think, folks: There are a lot of people like me in the USA. We watch Top Chef and Hell's Kitchen and all of those other shows, and we dream about cooking well. Yet, we don't have time to learn. We don't have time to go through the recipe cards and write the list and go to the store. With Plated, we pay someone to do that for us. For $30, I was able to get someone to not only do my grocery shopping, but to measure out exactly what I needed, give me detailed instructions with photos, and send it right to my doorstep. Because of this, I was able to cook an incredible meal for my family-- One that I was asked to make again.

Speaking of which, another great thing about Plated is that if you want to cook the same meal again, you have all of the ingredients, and you have already gone through the method. Therefore, you don't have to order the meal through Plated. You can actually pick up what you need from the grocery store when you do your shopping, rather than deciding that you want to make something for dinner and pour through a recipe book to find something that works. You've already had the instruction. You were given the proper measurements for the recipe, so you know what the ingredients look and feel like. You know what to do.

Maybe you're an experienced cook and think you're above Plated. Chances are, you're right. Chances are you already know how to shop and measure and all that stuff that goes into making a great meal. Chances are that Plated would just be convenience for you, but you'll think it's too expensive, just like my mom does. But, chances are that you've already made amazing meals that people have raved over and begged you to cook again.

You see, I haven't. Maybe I'll get a "Oh, this is good" or something, but I never had people tell me that they want me to make something again. With my first order from Plated, the dishes ended up looking like this after the meal:

To me, that is worth $30. Knowing that I can make this meal again and again with the same results is priceless. 

I'm Back!

Okay, so the Pantry of Death killed me. After dealing with all of that expired food and hours of cleaning, I just couldn't go any further, and I needed a massive breather. So, I took one. But, I'm back now.

And, tomorrow, I get to tackle the refrigerator and freezer. That's right-- From the pantry to the monstrosity in my kitchen that reminds me of the inside of my grandmother's refrigerator. I'm going to start with the freezer-- I think it's going to be a heck of a lot easier to tackle. I'll hit that right after breakfast.

Then on to the fridge, which I am sure is going to take me a LOT longer. *groan* As soon as I'm done, I'm going to move on to the next segment-- knives-- as quickly as possible. You know, I was actually in Kohl's the other day and almost bought myself a new knife set. I'm expecting a decent check since I work from home, and maybe I will buy myself a new set. I have a $10 Kohl's Cash credit, plus all sorts of coupons.  Fun!

Lesson Two: The Pantry of DEATH

You have GOT to be kidding me.

The second lesson with the lovely and talented Carla Hall at Top Chef University is all about organizing your pantry. As I mentioned in my last blog entry, I am certainly not the most organized person in the world. However, when it comes to the pantry in my house, my mother is MUCH worse than I am in that department.

You see, my husband, twins and I live with my mom. We sold our little townhouse once the twins were born and moved in with mom in a MUCH bigger home and larger piece of property. I helped all parties involved, and we honestly live in the best neighborhood in Brookhaven. I grew up here, and I couldn't imagine raising our kids anywhere else. Eventually, we are going to build onto the house and take advantage of the property that we own. I love this house.

I hate our kitchen.

We have VERY little counter space. The pantry was built by a man who had no clue about building a pantry-- my former step-father (may he rest in peace). He just built a closet with shelves, without any consideration of the sizes of bottles, boxes, jars and so forth. Mind you, this was back in 1988 or so. Mom never fixed it, and never had the tolerance to organize it, because it would inevitably end up looking like this:

The Pantry of DEATH

Now, I love my mother. I do. I've got an abnormally fantastic relationship with my mom. However, she has a couple of issues that my sister and I have tried to address over the years, but to no avail. One of the big issues my mom has is with expiration dates. You see, she COMPLETELY ignores them. She takes expiration dates as a suggestion rather than, well, the date of expiration. 

She's going to kill someone with expired food.

I'm not kidding.

When I was a senior in high school-- must have been March of 1994-- my friend came over for dinner. Mom, James (my friend), Julie (my sister) and I were gathered around the dinner table, eating. Mom had served salad, but there was no salad dressing on the table. I walked over to the Pantry of DEATH and rummaged around until I found a bottle of salad dressing. I was happy, because it was Spring Garden, which I thought had been discontinued a while ago. I shook it up and poured it on my salad. It had a greenish tinge, which I didn't remember, but it was a brand new bottle and I didn't think anything of it.

So, I took a bite and it tasted funny. Nay, it tasted tangy. I must have made a funny face, because my sister asked me what was wrong. I told her that the salad tasted funny, and my mom told me to knock it off and just eat it. So, I took another bite-- Still tasted funny. My sister picked up the bottle and started reading. All of a sudden, her eyes got really wide and she yelled, "SPIT IT OUT!! SPIT IT OUT!!!!"  So, I spit what was in my mouth onto my table as fast as I could.  My mother asked what was the matter and Julie said, "Ma, this expired in 1991!"

Thus the reputation of my mother and the expiration dates was born.

I knew that I was going to be confronted with expired items in the pantry, but I didn't think that I was going to be confronted with so many:

At least $200 of expired food

It just wouldn't stop coming out of the pantry. I cleaned and organized and did everything Carla told me to do. Thank goodness my sister is in Chicago, because she would have had a heart attack with all of the items I was pulling out. DIS-GUS-TING. There was some stuff that was just mind boggling. Take a look:

Hickory Farms Cheddar Cheese Spread

I don't even know when this was placed in the Pantry of DEATH. It's Hickory Farms Cheddar Cheese Spread. I mean, do they even make this any more? I dared my mom to open it. She wouldn't. I offered her $100 to open it, and she still wouldn't. Ughhhhh.

WTF is this??

Your guess is as good as mine. I wouldn't open the bag because I was afraid of something being alive inside and/or what it would smell like. Seriously... WTF is that?? 

But, I really need to share my favorite found item with you, my dear reader:

Yes, it really is Holy Water.

Two words for you, folks: HOLY WATER. Yes, you read that correctly. There was a bottle of Holy Water in our pantry. Apparently my mother was keeping it in case we had to conduct an exorcism or something. 

So, I did EVERYTHING I could with the pantry. I honestly thought it would take me an hour, tops. It took me SIX HOURS, and I still need to do the very top shelf that has all of the lightbulbs and stuff that my husband squirrels away up there. Take a look at what I accomplished, though:

'Tis the Pantry of DEATH no more!

I cannot begin to tell you how proud I am of myself for doing this. However, I still have those top two shelves to finish off, and I just cannot find the motivation to do so. I'm trying, but I can't-- ESPECIALLY when I know that the next lesson is about organizing the fridge and freezer!

Lesson One: Mise en Place

I love Carla Hall. She is one of my favorite Top Chef contestants. So, you can imagine my delight when Carla taught the first lesson in the first section of Top Chef University. She is the same bubbly Carla that was in Top Chef: New York, and the first video (which lasted nearly five minutes) was informative and entertaining. If all of the lessons are like this, I'll be cooking like a Top Chef in no time!

Basically the first lesson talked about the Mise en Place when you cook. The Mise en Place (pronounced MEES ahn plahss) is the area in which you work while you cook. You should have a cutting board, your equipment and all of your ingredients already measured out. This actually made a lot of sense to me. Often times, I will follow a recipe and have to keep going to my disaster area of a pantry to locate ingredients. More often than not, I don't have at least one ingredient and either make a mad dash to the grocery store or frantically call a neighbor. If you have all of your ingredients in front of you before you start cooking, then you won't run into that issue. (Hah! Who knew??)

Of course, the issue of cross-contamination was discussed. I already knew not to use the same work space if you use raw chicken and such. However, during the video, Carla took a plastic cutting board and put it on top of the wooden cutting board in order to have a separate space for her raw chicken. Genius!

I admit it: I'm not the most organized person in the world, especially when I attempt to cook. This short lesson organized me beautifully! I'm really excited to start cooking.

Student Orientation: My Back Story

Hi there!

I'm Candice. I'm 36 years old, the mother to 4 year old boy/girl twins, and the wife of a cop. I live on the south shore of Long Island in the great state of New York.

Oh, yeah. I'm not a very good cook. I try, though. My sister, Julie, makes fun of me because I have maybe seven items that I can cook REALLY well. (Hey-- That's a different meal every night!) I've got a massive shellfish allergy, which is why I'm terrified to go to any sort of cooking class or school. And considering that the twins are four, I really don't have very much time. I own a travel and event planning company, Candy Cain Travel, and I also work from home as a Marketing Executive for an International Wellness Company. I'm actually trying to get the latter business to a point where I can step back from the first, but that is another blog entirely.

My family (I'm in the green)

To the left is a picture of me and my family, taken at Disney this summer. The five people you see in that picture are the five people that will appear in this blog. If others appear, I'll make sure to put post pictures of them so that you can get a visual.

When Hurricane Sandy hit in October, we lost internet and phone for about two weeks. I got an alert from Groupon on my cellphone saying that there was a groupon for a one year membership to Top Chef University. My husband and I love Top Chef, and I REALLY wanted the Groupon, but we had no way to purchase it. I mentioned it at Thanksgiving, when we were talking about cool Groupons that we had seen. 

You can imagine my delight on Christmas morning when my husband told me to check my email for another gift as he walked out the door to go to work. About an hour later, I jumped online and checked my email. Lo and behold, there it was: The Best Christmas Gift EVER. Hubs bought me the Groupon for that one year membership to Top Chef University!!!

I am outrageously excited about this gift. I love the idea of learning to cook like a Top Chef. A good friend of mine, Danielle, is an OUTRAGEOUS cook and we keep telling her to go onto MasterChef. Well, jeez, maybe with this University I will be confident enough to audition myself, rather than for The Worst Cooks In America!

Something that I do happen to be good at, however, is writing. I have a couple of blogs that I maintain, and my best friend Mechelle suggested that I track my progress with a blog. (What she actually said was, "Can, this sounds a bit blog-worthy...") I've got a few followers on each blog and several thousand views. I'm sure that this is going to be an exercise in comedy, so I hope you enjoy it as much as I anticipate I will. 

Merry Christmas!!!